


Rewind, Unfuck, Repeat

by CorsairLord



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:47:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21674704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorsairLord/pseuds/CorsairLord
Summary: Grief is all that is great and terrible about love and life. It is what has fueled the most beautiful of things, as well as the most ugly of them. In overcoming it, one might find peace with it, but some choose it as their drive, replacing their love or hate with that which is both. It is a beautifully bitter thing.
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Chloe Price, Rachel Amber/Chloe Price, Rachel Amber/Maxine "Max" Caulfield, Rachel Amber/Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Chloe Price
Comments: 23
Kudos: 104





	1. Push On, Into The Void

Grief is a strange emotion.  
It's love, hate, anger, sadness, hopelessness and fear all wrapped up into one little package that has the ability to permanently infect you with it.  
It also makes a person do things that could politely be called strange, and truthfully be called self-destructive, fucked up and insane.  
Case in point; Max Caulfield sneaking into the Arcadia Bay's DA's office at his home to find a picture. Why?  
Because she knew he'd have the pictures of his daughter from the Dark Room somewhere. She'd already checked the trashed police station when they brought her in to ask about Jefferson and Nathan.  
That left James Amber's office.  
So there she was, a physical and emotional wreck, a goddamn gun in her pocket and a splitting headache.  
Too many rewinds in the past two weeks since the Storm.  
But at least she'd gotten better at it.  
After breaking down the door and rewinding to have her inside before the alarm went off, it took her a bit to reorient herself in what was definitely not a neat office.  
The entirety of the right wall and door adjacent wall had been covered in photos, notes, police reports, private eye memos and newspaper clippings. All devoted to one person, smack dab in the middle.  
Rachel Amber.  
He'd been obsessing over her disappearance for six months, and he seemed to be circling in on suspects.  
Mark Jefferson, Frank Bowers, Nathan Prescott, and Sean Prescott.  
He was so fucking close it made her heart ache inside.  
Shaking herself from her pain, she moved on to his desk, covered in photos next to a red binder. Two empty bottles of whisky sat in the trash can next to the desk.  
She carefully picked one of the photos up, immediately recognizing it as the one of Rachel and Nathan in American Rust. She quickly threw that one far away from herself, not willing to subject herself to that image again.  
The next one she recognized was the one of Rachel furious but drugged, hands tied and leaning against a corner. Max knew what she was feeling all too well. The picture would work.  
In theory her plan was solid. In theory being the issue.  
She'd use her time-photo bullshit to force herself into the timeline permanently-not like before-and put Jefferson down like the rabid dog he was. But she knew it wasn't going to be that easy. She had to give it her all, and had to be lucid and strong enough when she made it to put the entire cylinder worth of bullets into Jefferson and be strong enough to get Rachel out of there before Nathan or his dad came to the bunker.  
One tall order for sure. But she had to do it. Had to. She couldn't live in this fucked up timeline where Chloe was gone and her entire world had lost meaning. If it brought another Storm, fuck the Bay, she'd choose Chloe. And Rachel. Chloe loved Rachel and Rachel loved Chloe, even with the weirdness with Frank and Jefferson. It didn't matter if she got to be happy, they deserved happiness. She had had seventeen years of relative happiness and one of sadness. That'd be good enough for her.  
Easing her breathing and ignoring the headache she closed her eyes and thought of Chloe like she was at the Lighthouse. This was all for her.  
Opening her eyes, she focused on the awful photo and pushed with her power, feeling the headache grow worse as she attempted to physically insert herself into the timeline where she did not belong. She pushed on, feeling the familiar drip of blood and smelling the iron. She pushed harder as the world shifted, faded and broke around her, as the photo became her reality. She felt her body grow weaker than she'd ever felt but she pushed on, gritting her teeth and locked her knees stock still. Her whole being felt like it was being torn apart but she still pushed on, as she saw the faded void become the Dark Room around her, as she pushed on she heard the camera shutter and felt the oppressive cold of the Dark Room, and with one monumental push of effort that made her almost collapse she was in the Dark Room.  
She heard nothing for a few moments as she leaned against one of the horrible gray walls of the Dark Room, as she struggled to force her hand into her pocket, gripping the gun with as much strength as she could muster, pulling back the hammer like all those old movies and YouTube tutorials had shown her.  
Then she heard that bastard's too soft voice whisper into the air as Rachel mumbled something.

"What the hell?" 

Turning around she pulled out the gun with both hands and aimed it at him, enjoying the fear in his eyes as he tried to put up his hands. 

"You tell me. This is your own personal hell after all."

Before he could respond, she fired, a deafening sound, and barely had the strength to keep the gun from flying from her hand. She could see the blood blossom out from his chest as he stood there in shock.  
Not enough, a part of her said.  
And she listened.  
Every shot seemed to make her headache worse, as her ears rang and as the recoil violently shook her hands, but finally all that she heard was a clicking sound as she advanced on Jefferson. His chest was practically a macabre garden of dark red flowers, as he struggled to keep from practically spit up blood. He was dying.  
Next to him, was his camera.  
A horrible, terrible thought crossed her mind for a fleeting moment before she found herself looking at Jefferson through the camera.

"Stay still, Mark, you're ruining my shot."

As she clicked away, she realized she could practically count the seconds as his life drained away with clicks.  
It only took fifty-three before he stopped moving.  
She didn't know how long she stood there, taking photos before a small, half-asleep voice broke through what could only be called her moment of triumph. 

"Please…"

Dropping the camera she made her way over to Rachel, as she tried to edge away from her, closer into the corner. She was terrified of her. She had terrified her when she turned Jefferson into a corpse and kept taking pictures. She had to calm her down, to make sure she knew she wasn't going to hurt her.

"Rachel? Rachel Amber, right? I'm not going to hurt you. I'm here to get you out of here. I'm…I'm a friend of Chloe's. I'm going to take you to her alright? I promise, I just want to help you."

Slowly, carefully, she approached Rachel and saw that as she said Chloe's name, she calmed down. Crouching down next to her, she gently managed to undo Rachel's bindings, the duct tape more for show than anything. The drugs were what kept Rachel stuck.  
As she undid the bindings on her ankles, Rachel reached out and held onto her, scared that she wasn't real and that Jefferson wasn't dead.

"I wanna see Chloe…"

Finding what little strength she still had left, she helped Rachel up, making her lean heavily on her. It was awkward being shorter than her, but Rachel was even weaker than Max was. As they carefully edged around Jefferson's corpse, Max sat Rachel down on the couch, because she sure as hell wasn't walking down the highway with Rachel. Walking over to Jefferson's corpse, she rifled through the pockets until she found his wallet, keys and phone as well as picking up the discarded gun and camera. The keys were hers, money for Chloe and Rachel, phone for the cops and the gun and camera were being buried in American Rust.  
Going over to Rachel, she helped pick her up once more, happy to bear this burden. Anything for Chloe.

"Rachel, tell me if you need anything, okay? I need you to be alright."

"You saved me."

"You saved Chloe, this is the very least of what I can do."

As they walked to the bunker door, Max hoped that Nathan wasn't waiting outside. She wouldn't be able to take him in this state and she was out of bullets.  
Opening the door, all seemed quiet, as the pair carefully climbed up the steps leading to the barn, it's door opened as Jefferson's black car sat just outside.  
It took a lot out of her to ease Rachel into the front seat, careful to make sure she was secure and buckled, before heading over to the driver's side hoping whatever lessons her dad had taught her in the family sedan would apply to this thing. As she adjusted her seat as far forward as it went to accommodate her legs, she noticed Rachel was staring at her, tears in her eyes. 

"Hey, you're okay now. I'm going to get you to Chloe, okay?" 

Gently she brushed away Rachel's tears and the running mascara and offered her the best smile she could. Rachel's own one was small in return, but the biggest of victories in her mind.  
Turning on the car, she pulled off a turn in the car, only managing to scratch it a little bit. Not that she really cared since this was his car, and he was dead and could go fuck himself. As she drove it down the winding dirt road and onto the highway she couldn't help but allow a sense of elation wash over her. She'd done it. She saved Rachel. She killed Jefferson.  
It took all she had not to drive like a madwoman to the Price House, or to practically cry out with joy that Chloe's truck was there. She parked as best she could out front before she helped out Rachel, who managed to shakily stand on her own for a few seconds before Max helped her up the driveway and steps. As they reached the door, Max could hear a flurry of booted steps fly down the stairs from inside before it threw the door open, revealing Chloe.

"Rachel!? Ohmigod what the fuck happened?!" 

"Chloe she can barely stand right now, and I can't hold her much longer, we need to set her down."

Ignoring the oddly familiar stranger's face and voice, she obeyed helping carry Rachel up the stairs and into her room before laying her down on her bed, holding Rachel close to her as she kissed her head and listened as Rachel cried into her shoulder.  
Realizing she didn't have that long until she collapsed herself, Max placed everything she had taken from Jefferson onto Chloe's desk before she began to walk out the door. 

"Wait!" 

It wasn't Chloe that stopped her, but Rachel, her voice stressed and rough, unused to anything louder than a murmur in a while.  
She couldn't help but feel the want, the need in that voice as she turned around, leaning onto the door frame for support, finally showing her full face to Chloe. It wasn't hard to catch the glance of recognition, even in her condition.  
She looked at Rachel, her hazel eyes vibrant even now. That was always Rachel Amber, she supposed. Vibrant even at her darkest.

"Please. Don't go."

"Why?"

"You saved me."

"I promised I would."

"You promised to help me."

"I did."

"Help me. Stay."

Max almost didn't. She almost disappeared out the door, off to collapse somewhere where she wouldn't be bothered by anyone. But like everyone always said, Rachel Amber could twist people around her finger like it was as natural as breathing for her. 

"Okay."

Everything felt heavier as she barely managed to drag herself to Chloe's bed, before she collapsed onto it, darkness clouding her vision as she heard her name and felt someone hold her hand. Her sleep was, thankfully, uninterrupted by dreams.  
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	2. A Darkened Gem

Rachel's sleep was fitful and half-haunted by her memories of Jefferson, but had the gratifying effect of wearing down whatever drugs Nathan had injected her with. She was still a bit hazy, but when she finally awoke, was far more lucid and strong enough to make it to the bathroom to throw up the pizza and beer she'd had the night before. It wasn't a pleasant experience, but it stopped the nauseous feeling in her stomach. Now all that remained was a sick feeling, over what she'd been through and what'd happened.  
She knew that Nathan wasn't the nicest guy but she never thought he'd drug her and kidnap her.  
And Mark…she'd thought he'd just been an older guy who'd help her achieve her dreams, as long as he got something in return, something she couldn't help but admit she'd given with little hesitation. Instead he was a sociopathic freak who'd enjoyed watching her squirm as he took pictures of her.  
As she washed her face of the streaked makeup and cupped water in her hands to rid herself of the acidic taste of bile in her mouth, she thought of the girl who'd saved her. She just…appeared and killed Jefferson. Then there were the pictures she'd taken as he died. That had scared her. But she knew as soon as she mentioned Chloe that she was there to help her. Save her. And she did. It took its toll, though, that was clear.  
No one should have that much blood pouring from their nose, or be that pale, or shake like that.  
But she still carried Rachel out of that place and to Chloe.  
With one final look at herself in the mirror, she slowly walked out of the bathroom, allowing herself to lean heavily on the wall and rail of the staircase. All she wanted to do was crawl back into bed next to Chloe and her saviour and go to sleep for a year and a day.  
As she reached the door, however, it opened and out stepped her favorite person in the world. 

"Hey Price."

"There you are. I woke up and couldn't find you and I was worried and-" 

Any more worries or concerns were cut off as Rachel pulled Chloe close and kissed her, leaning into her body until they were practically molded together against the doorframe.  
After a minute or three, Rachel broke away from Chloe's lips just far enough to whisper to her.

"I'm right here. I promised to fly away with you, remember? I need my Ariel."

"I remember. I'll stick with Chloe though."

With a smile, she led Chloe back into her room, carefully returning to the still warm bed, her rescuer still asleep near the end of the bed, one arm outstretched where Rachel had held it as she cried herself asleep.

"She said she was your friend. When she saved me."

"Yeah...she is. Or was. I don't actually know. That's…that's Max."

Max. Max Caulfield, Chloe's once best friend who'd left for Seattle when she was thirteen. The person who had occupied the same spot in Chloe's heart Rachel now did. 

"As in?"

"Yeah. That's her. When I knew her she wasn't so damn pale or prone to such fucked up nosebleeds or down with using a gun. She doesn't talk to me for five fucking years and the first thing she does when she shows up is save my favorite person in the whole world."

"All she said that I can remember was that she'd do anything for you…and that saving me was the least she could do."

"Fuck, if that's her least I have no clue what her best would be."

Climbing onto the bed gently, Rachel found a comfortable spot against Chloe, her head on her chest, listening to the beat of Chloe's heart. It was a calming thing, a rhythm to hold onto. 

"When...when I was with him, I was so scared. I was fucking terrified. I thought that that was that. I was dead. I was never going to see my family or friends again, I was never going to leave Arcadia fucking Bay. But most of all, I regretted something."

It was hard not to miss the intake of breath from Chloe, as her chest rose and fell deeper. 

"What?" 

"I love you, Chloe Price. I love you more than anything in the world. From the moment I met you I think I've loved you. I regretted that. I regretted that I would never be able to tell you that. And now…now I can, thanks to Max."

"I...I love you t-too Rachel Amber."

Chloe's voice broke then. Rachel didn't know how long she'd been holding that in, but to say it and hear Chloe say it back made her cry tears of joy. Chloe gripped Rachel tighter then, as the words she waited three years to hear were just out there, as the words she'd been building up for three years finally came forth.  
It was the deepest elation that shot through both of them then, as they held each other, their love freely given to one another, and joyously received.  
Yet somewhere deep inside her heart, Rachel loathed herself. She loved Chloe but that didn't stop her from hooking up with Jefferson the same day he'd offered to introduce her to his model photographer friends if she wanted. Maybe she was so used to lying, even she couldn't parse out her own bullshit anymore. It wasn't the first time she felt this way. There was a reason she'd written that letter in American Rust. It would come out eventually. She just didn't know when, or if it would even come from her.  
She was too afraid that Chloe would hate her and leave her and then…then she'd have nothing worth living for. If she Chloe left, it'd would have been better that she died in that hellhole with Jefferson.

"Chloe?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't leave me."

"I won't. Never."

As Rachel felt Chloe's lips gently press upon her head, it felt like that simple act had calmed the torrent of emotions in her heart, while still destroying whatever amount of respect and dignity she held for herself.  
She'd betrayed Chloe's trust and she didn't even have the courage to admit it to her.  
New tears mingled with her old ones, hate with love.  
It didn't matter how much she hated herself in that moment. She had her love for Chloe, and she wasn't going to squander that, not anymore. Maybe that was enough. Maybe one day she would be able to tell Chloe and she wouldn't care about what happened when she did. Wouldn't put her own selfish desires over Chloe.  
As she cried herself to sleep once more, she reached out and took Max's hand again.  
She'd given her this chance, this world of maybes and opportunities with Chloe.  
If it meant having to hate herself to live in it, she could do that.  
Hopefully that wasn't just another lie she told herself.  
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	3. Bright Light

It was midmorning by the time Chloe decided to get up. She hadn't slept more than a few hours during the night. A combination of nerves and being unable to spread out how she typically did.  
She didn't mind much. As weird as it was she liked watching Rachel and Max sleep, it was peaceful in a way.  
It took more than a few minutes to disentangle herself from Rachel, careful not to wake her up.  
She was so beautiful in the yellow light of the sun, half filtered through the blinds, it took considerable willpower for Chloe not to kiss her awake. Opting instead for a gentle brush of her hair, she moved to her dresser, catching a glance of Max's face.  
Discounting the scary amount of dried blood still under her nose and on her lips, Max was just like she remembered, save for a thinner face.  
Rummaging as quietly as she could she pulled out a fresh set of clothes, silently thanking her wonderful Mother for doing her laundry.  
Slipping out of her room, she made her way to the bathroom, grateful that it was unoccupied. Just hearing what had happened to Rachel made her itchy for a shower.  
That sent her down a dark line of thinking, as she undressed, furious at what had happened. Jefferson was lucky he was already dead, or she would have done much worse than shoot him. And Nathan...that little fucked-up rich asshole was going down. It didn't matter if that meant jail sans kneecaps or in the Prescott family plot, she had already made up her mind about it.  
Turning on the water in the shower, she inspected her sleeve in the mirror. She'd been thinking about adding a small orange gem somewhere, as a way to represent Rachel without going full on bad tattoo decision making and getting her name.  
Although by that same track, Rachel would probably end up with a price tag on her arm and that would be both stupid and mildly demeaning, to Chloe at least.  
Seeing and feeling the steam on the mirror and in the room, she stepped into the shower, reveling as the hot water washed over her, helping ease the mild discomfort in her neck she'd gotten when she'd slept against her wall basically.  
Relaxed by the water, her thoughts drifted to Max, someone who she mixed feelings about to say the least. On one hand, they hadn't talked in five years and Max had abandoned her and forgotten about her. On the other, she'd clearly went through some serious shit to save Rachel and she had saved Rachel.  
Part of Chloe wanted to tell Max to fuck off and another part wanted to hug her and beg her to stay forever.  
They were shitty feelings to have about someone, especially about someone who looked like a glare could snap them in two.  
As the water grew just a bit colder, Chloe took that as her sign to dry off and see about food, her entire night taken over by first looking for Rachel, and then taking care of her. That meant she hadn't eaten in at least a day, half a day if she counted the half a cookie she'd split with Rachel earlier in the day. She didn't.  
After drying off and changing into her fresh clothes, she recognized the shirt she was wearing. The Firewalk t-shirt she'd picked off the vendor. The first time she'd actually met Rachel. It was faded, torn and a tad shorter than some of her other shirts but it was one of her favorites.  
Stepping out of the bathroom, Chloe saw her mom climbing the stairs. For a second she was confused why she was home on what was normally a busy day at the Two Whales, before remembering that she'd worked nine days straight so she could take a midweek vacation, for David's birthday.  
Normally she'd complain about making any type of deal about anything having to do with David, but he'd been surprisingly not so big of an asshole the last few weeks. He was still an authoritarian asshole but not so loud about it. 

"I must be dreamin' because my daughter does not wake up before noon unless I physically prod her. And even then only with the sharp stick."

"It's a very new experience seeing the sun actually rise. I thought it just fell."

"Mhmm. I'm making breakfast, do you want a big stack or a normal stack of hotcakes?" 

"Big. Stupid big. Please."

"Hah, you got it. And does Rachel want a normal stack or a small stack?" 

She realized she was imitating a guppy then, as her mother smiled wide at her. She'd never understand how she could do that.

"How?"

"Last night you damn near tore apart half of Arcadia Bay looking for her, and you were mean as hell about it too. Now you're nice and saying please. So I assume she's either at her home and coming over soon or she's asleep in that room. So normal or small?" 

"Maybe small. But let me ask her. And, could you make a normal stack for someone else?" 

"Sure, who?" 

"It's a surprise mom. But it's a good one."

"That's what you said about that heap of scrap you call a truck."

"Hey, only I get to shit-talk my piece of shit truck." 

Joyce rolled her eyes as she walked down the stairs, happy that her daughter was in a good mood. Those were the best days.  
Opening the door, Chloe was surprised to see Max awake, messing with Jefferson's camera. She'd brushed away most of the dried blood but her nostrils were still a dark reddish brown, and it stood out against her pale skin.

"Hey."

Max looked at her then, and on her face appeared what may have been the saddest smile on the face of the planet.  
It was the eyes. Her mouth said happiness but her eyes practically screamed sad. It wasn't a smile she was unused to putting on. 

"Hi Chloe."

"Thank you. For…for saving her." 

"You-You're uh, welcome. I-I had to."

"No you didn't Max, don't lie. You…you fucking killed a guy to save her. You practically dragged her outta there. You didn't have to do any of that shit. But you did, and I-I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am. This is-shit just come here."

Without waiting for her reply, Chloe wrapped Max up in a hug, almost picking her up. Max slowly returned the hug, her arms trembling and her body shaking like a leaf. It took a moment for Chloe to realize that Max was crying then. Pulling back, Chloe held onto both sides of Max's face and put her forehead against Max's. 

"Y-You're supposed to hate me. Makes it easier when I leave."

"Max...I can't hate you…not now. Just-just don't leave."

"I don't want to, Chloe. But if I stay everyone would be in danger. I don't wanna risk them. Risk you."

"Max, whatever the fuck is going on, we'll deal with it. We-I-need you."

It scared Chloe more than she thought it would when Max didn't immediately answer. Whatever she was afraid of, Chloe didn't care because she was still one of her best friends and the person who had saved the most important person in her world.

"Okay. Okay. I'll stay for you. For both of you."

That was the best news Chloe had heard in a long, long time.  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm looking for a beta to bounce ideas off of and help with formatting and structuring the story. Leave a comment if you're interested and we'll go from there.


	4. Mended Memories

Max had to fight the almost obsessive need to run from Chloe's room and get as far away from her and Rachel as possible.  
The longer she stayed, the longer she risked bringing the Storm with her, and then she'd be back where she started.  
But she had told Chloe she would stay, and she intended to be true to that. If the Storm came, she'd run as far away from them as she could, attempt to pull it away from the Bay.  
She was drawn from her thoughts by the hand on her shoulder, connected to one Rachel Amber.  
She looked much better than she did the previous night, her eyes shining and her face clear of tear marks and streaked makeup. 

"Hi Rachel."

"Hi. I just wanted to actually properly introduce myself and to thank you. For everything. I thought I was going to die, and you…you just showed up and saved me and brought me here and…thank you Max. Can I hug you? I feel like hugging you is appropriate."

There was a charm to Rachel and her smiles that just made liking her seem so very natural, and Max had long since fallen under it, if only by Chloe's stories about her and the few hours Max had known her.  
So for the first time in two weeks, Max laughed and allowed Rachel to gather her up in a hug. 

"You're welcome Rachel. I was glad to do it."

"Can I-Can I ask you a weird question?" 

Breaking apart, Max sat on Chloe's desk as Rachel leaned on the wall next to her, her eyes flicking to the camera once before she met Max's. Max already knew what she was going to ask; why did you take pictures of a dying man? It was a fair question, one she'd asked herself. 

"Yeah, anything."

"You already know what I'm going to ask, don't you?" 

"Yeah. I don't really have a good answer for you. I just…he documented the worst moments of people's lives and got pleasure from that. So I documented the worst moments of his."

Rachel seemed to digest that for a few moments, as she almost studied Max. It would have made Max uncomfortable, but there was something gentle about her gaze. 

"Okay. Okay. I can't understand what you're going through with everything but I'm here alright?" 

"I'll be…better. I should be telling you I'm here. You've been through enough without my problems."

"Hey. Your problems became my problems when you decided to save me. Like it or not, Max, you're stuck with me. Which I'm sure Chloe will be happy about."

"Hah. Yeah. Just, promise me something Rachel?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Don't ever hurt her. She's been through enough pain."

Rachel nodded then, unable to vocalize what was already a broken promise even if Chloe didn't know it.

"Thank you. I'm going to wash my face before I head downstairs. Can you make sure Chloe hasn't burned down the kitchen trying to cook?" 

"Uh sure, but I think Joyce is cooking. It actually smells good for one."

"Oh. Wow. I haven't seen Joyce in five years."

"She'll be happy to see you."

"Hopefully. Alright I have to clean up this blood."

Leaving the room, Max caught the smell of pancakes drifting up the stairs, her stomach growled at the wonderful smell. It'd been a while since she had something that wasn't from a box or bag, and even longer since she had an appetite. Entering the bathroom, she finally got a good look at herself. She'd brushed away most of the blood but she still needed to actually wash her face of it. If she had more time, she'd take a shower, get that faint scent of sweat and blood off of her body. It was harder to concentrate than normal because of the faint ringing in her ears, she realized as she wiped away the dried blood with water.  
That would stay for a while, from what she remembered during her few hours of learning how to use a gun from two nights prior.  
Leaving the bathroom, she took a deep breath, before she made her way down the stairs hearing Joyce talk to Chloe. The last actual time she had seen her had been at Chloe's funeral a week before. She'd been devastated, as much as she'd been when William had died. No one should have to deal with that much loss.  
Stepping down the final set of stairs, she saw Chloe cover her mother's eyes and motion for Max to come into the kitchen. 

"Chloe, just who is this person you're surprising me with?" 

"See for yourself Mom."

Uncovering her mother's eyes, Joyce stared at Max for a moment before her eyes went wide with recognition.

"Max? Max Caulfield?" 

"Hi Joyce."

Max had less than a second before Joyce had pulled Max in for a hug, as warm and loving as ever. 

"It's so good to see you! Oh we missed you Max! Oh you're all grown up, and beautiful. How're you? How're your folks?" 

"Good, they're good. You look great Joyce."

"Thank you Max. I can't believe you're back. What are you doing in Arcadia Bay?" 

"Well my parents were thinking of sending me to Blackwell Academy because of the new arts program, and I wanted to come back to Arcadia Bay. I-I'm sorry about never calling, Joyce. And I'm so sorry about William. I know it's too little, too late but-" 

"Max. It's alright. I understand. You don't have to apologize to me. I'm just glad you're here. Now how's about you grab yours and Rachel's stack of hotcakes and sit down before Chloe gets any ideas about stealing them?"

"Okay. Thanks Joyce."

Joyce had always had a way to make Max feel loved, no matter what. It's what made Max think of her like a second mom.  
Picking up the two plates of pancakes, she carried them over to the table and handed Rachel's off to her and sat down next to her. As she went to pick up her fork, she looked around her, at Chloe, Joyce and Rachel. It made her content in a way. She'd messed up a lot of stuff in her life, but saving Rachel wasn't one of those things. She felt a nudge on her shoulder, and turned seeing Rachel and Chloe staring at her. 

"Max, what's up?" 

"Huh?" 

"You've been sitting there for a while. What's on your mind?" 

"I'm just..I'm just so happy that I'm here. With you two." 

They both smiled at that, before Rachel put her arm around Max and pulled her close, doing the same with Chloe. 

"I'm glad you're here too. And judging by how much Price has been smiling, she is too." 

"Rach is right. I'm glad you're here Max."

For Max, that was enough, and for the first time since she woke up, she didn't feel like running away. All she wanted to do was stay right where she was.  


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	5. Hurt To Heal

IAs Rachel finished her stack of pancakes, she brought the plate over to the sink and began to wash it, falling into a familiar routine.  
She spent so much time with Chloe at her home, she felt like she lived their half the time. She looked back at Chloe, Max and Joyce and watched them reconnect, slowly. She still didn't know what to make of Max aside from her eternal gratitude for what she did for her, and that was strange for her.  
She was usually so good at reading people, especially when they were emotional but with Max…it was like she could only get a few scant glimpses into her. The only thing she was absolutely sure of was the sadness in her. It was always there, lingering behind every smile and glance. Rachel had noticed it whenever Max looked at her or Chloe.  
It was there when she had asked her not to hurt Chloe, a thing Rachel was sure she'd already done, lending itself to her growing guilt.  
It'd been hard to nod then. To lie to Max's face. But she couldn't tell the truth. Not now. Not when she'd just gotten a second chance.  
As she dried the plate and put it away, Joyce sidled alongside her and rested her hand on her back. 

"What's wrong, Rachel?" 

"Nothing, Joyce. I'm fine. Really."

"Really? Because I've known you for a while now, Rachel, and in all the time I've known you, you've never been so quiet. Does this have something to do with where you were last night?" 

"I…Can I ask you something?" 

"Of course."

"Did you ever hurt someone you loved, but didn't know whether to tell them? Because you were afraid that if you told them, they'd leave you?" 

She couldn't look at Joyce then, instead turning around to look out the window. She felt Joyce put her arm around her shoulder and rest her head against her own. 

"You love Chloe."

It wasn't a question, Rachel realized, more a declaration of fact. Like she'd known for longer than Rachel had. 

"Of course I do. She's the most amazing person I've ever met. How couldn't I love her?" 

"And are you in love with her?" 

Rachel was quiet for a moment then, her breath catching in her chest, before she found her voice, soft and quiet.

"Completely and utterly."

"Does she know that?" 

"Yes."

"If I hurt someone I loved…I'd tell them. If you love someone, you put them above yourself. Even if it hurts you. Especially if it hurts you. It's not an easy thing to do. But love isn't easy. She loves you, Rachel. And if I know my daughter, she's in love with you. It'll hurt. She won't like you for it. But if it comes from you...she'll forgive you. She loves you too much. But it has to come from you."

Rachel absorbed what Joyce had said, barely realizing her tears had started again. She'd have to tell Chloe. Even if it she didn't forgive her and hated her, she needed to know. She deserved to know. 

"Thank you, Joyce."

"Of course, Rachel. You've made my daughter very happy these last three years. And that's not an easy thing to do. Just…do it soon. The sooner she knows, the sooner you two can work out whatever happened."

"I will. I promise."

Offering Joyce a full hug, Rachel returned to the dining room table and sat back down, as Chloe looked up at her with worry. 

"You alright, Rach?" 

"Yeah. I'm alright, Price. I just needed some advice from your mom. I was thinking, how about we take Max for a ride on the train? We could use some company."

Chloe smiled wide then, remembering the first day she and Rachel had actually hung out. It had been a weird messed up day at the beginning of a weird messed up week, but Chloe had cherished the memory of it.  
Seeing her smile made Rachel's heart ache even more, wondering how she'd live if Chloe hated her. She was almost sure she wouldn't. 

"Yes! Oh Max you're going to love it."

"Where's a train station in Arcadia Bay?" 

"Nope."

"Then...where are we going to get a ride on a train?" 

"You'll see. Trust me."

Max shook her head in confusion before she looked at Chloe and smiled. 

"Alright, I trust you."

"Awesome. Should we stop at your parents first, Rach, let 'em know you're okay?" 

"Yeah, we should. And then, Max, we'll show you how to ride in style."

"Awesome."

Stealing another look at Chloe as she got up to take her plate to the kitchen, Rachel couldn't help but feel so much guilt over how much it would hurt Chloe when she told her about her and Jefferson. But for today, it'd be nothing but a good time. She'd hurt Chloe enough, she wasn't going to ruin her first day with her other best friend being back.  
Tomorrow though…tomorrow she'd tell her, no matter how much it hurt.  
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	6. Update #1

I'll be taking a 5 day long break from writing to enjoy a week before I replay Before the Storm and Life is Strange. If any of you know me outside of my writing, you'll understand that I do my best writing when I'm in one of my depressive episodes. So the story will continue on the fifteenth, apologies for leaving it on a cliffhanger, I'd prefer to write a Chloe chapter but I'd rather wait before my quality of writing degrades further. Thank you for your understanding.

-CL


	7. Fire Favoured By Desire

As Chloe pulled up outside of Rachel's house, she noticed James' car was still in the driveway. Odd for a mid-morning Tuesday, until she realized he had probably stayed at home when Chloe had reluctantly called him and told him that she couldn't find Rachel the night before.  
It was never easy to talk to James Amber, especially after she'd found out about what he'd done to Sera. Add in the fact she'd practically broken his family by telling Rachel, and they were not on the best of terms.  
She supposed it wasn't unfair to despise the person who made your daughter refer to you as Liar instead of Dad.  
Rachel was calm, on the exterior, but Chloe knew she was trying to figure out what to say to her parents. 

"Y'know, we don't have to talk to them yet, Rach. We could just bail and go ride a train."

"Chloe's right, Rachel. You don't have to tell them now."

Rachel never turned away from her home as she spoke, her voice even, despite it clearly being her acting voice. 

"No. But I'm going to. I understand if you guys want to wait here-" 

"Bullshit, you know as well as I do, we're all going in there and telling them together."

Rachel looked back at Chloe then, her eyes just barely watered and nodded with the faintest hint of a smile.

"Have you thought about what you're going to tell them, Rachel?" 

"The truth. All of it. Time to reveal every sordid little secret I've kept from them about my life."

It was hard not to catch the bitter tone in Rachel's voice as she spoke. Chloe knew that she'd worked hard to keep her life very private from her parents following what she'd found out about her Dad. Rachel didn't trust him not to fuck her life up anymore than he already did. 

"Hey. You'll have us, Rachel."

"Thanks Max. Alright. Let's…get this over with."

As they exited the truck, Chloe took Rachel's hand into her own, with Rachel gratefully accepting it with a squeeze.  
Before they had even reached the porch, the door of the house opened, with Rose stepping outside, her eyes streaked with tears. 

"Rachel! Oh thank God, thank God!"

Rose ran over to Rachel, and hugged her close, kissing her forehead and crying tears of joy. 

"It's okay Mom, I'm right here. I'm…alive."

"Oh Rachel, we were so worried about you, when Chloe called and said she couldn't find you, your father had the police looking for you…oh I'm so happy you're alright."

"Me too. I...I wouldn't have been without Max. She saved my life. Can we go inside? There's a lot of stuff we have to talk about."

"Of course, honey."

As Rachel followed her mother inside, Chloe and Max walked behind them, Chloe steeling herself for dealing with James again. 

"Max, you should probably know but Rachel's dad kind of hates me. Like alot. So maybe let Rachel lead with you saving her life first before mentioning we're friends? He probably won't hate you."

"Why does he hate you?" 

"Long story, but let's just say I'm the reason him and Rachel don't really talk."

As the pair stepped inside, they could see Rachel being embraced by her father, a rare sight, as well as another woman who looked remarkably like Rachel standing nearby, waiting for her own chance to hug Rachel. Chloe recognized her immediately, surprised that she was here, before realizing that James must have called her after Chloe called him. 

"Oh Rachel, I'm so glad you're okay. Where were you?" 

"I'll tell you in a minute…Dad."

Moving away from her father, Rachel approached Sera, and welcomed the hug. The relationship between her real mother and Rachel had always been strong since they had met, as Rachel considered her nothing less than another mother, something that always made Sera feel in equal parts shame and pride.

"I'm glad you're here, Sera."

"I came as soon as your dad called me. I had to."

Breaking from the hug, Rachel walked over to Chloe and Max, the pair waiting awkwardly at the entrance, and grabbed both their hands before pulling them over to the main couch and sitting down, the rest of her family sitting down around her.

"So...fuck, I dunno what to say...I guess I'll be blunt: Nathan Prescott drugged and kidnapped me at the Vortex Club party last night before he and Mr. Jefferson took me to Jefferson's secret room and Jefferson took pictures of me as I was half drugged. I probably would have died if Max here hadn't saved me by killing Jefferson and managing to drag me out of the room and the barn and drive me to Chloe's. And that's why I didn't come home last night."

Silence reigned for a few seconds then as Rachel's family absorbed the information. James was the first to break it, as he pulled out his phone and dialed a number. 

"Ellison. Arrest Nathan Prescott now. You heard me right, I want that fucking bastard in handcuffs now. Why? Because that spoiled son of a bitch kidnapped and drugged my daughter! I don't care who his Dad is, if Sean Prescott gets in your way you take him in too. You get him now, Ellison, no matter what."

Chloe was inwardly thankful that despite how much James hated her, he'd never snarled at her with such anger. She wondered if she'd be able to match him in a screaming match if it was like that.  
He took a deep breath then, before he looked at Max, a look of what could only be described as gratitude and relief gracing his face.

"You're Max?"

"Yeah. Max Caulfield."

"You saved Rachel."

"Yeah."

"You had to…kill this Mr. Jefferson to do that?" 

"Yes. He's-was bigger than me, I wasn't in that great of sh-" 

"I'm not questioning whether you absolutely had to, I'm simply ensuring that I know the facts as precisely as possible, Max. If you hadn't killed him, I would have."

Chloe could barely catch the audible swallow from Rachel as she listened to her father. Despite all his fuck-ups and flaws, James Amber would do anything to protect his daughter, a fact that wasn't lost on Rachel.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, I had to."

"How?"

"I shot him."

"Was the gun legally obtained or not?" 

"It was not."

"That's fine, I'll straighten that out. Thank you for saving my daughter Max, thank you so much."

"Of course."

Sera was the next one to speak, while Rose reached over from her seat and patted Max's free hand, whispering thank you to her.

"How are you feeling, Rachel?" 

"Honestly? I feel like I need a hundred showers and even then like I won't be clean. I knew Nathan was always a little weird, but he was always honest with me, and I felt bad about how his Dad treated him so I didn't worry about him doing anything like last night. And with Ma-Mr. Jefferson, he was always cool and was always willing to help me with anything about my modeling and photography."

It was hard for Chloe to hear that much pain in Rachel's voice, as it was clear Rachel's trust had been violated by Nathan and Jefferson. She shifted her hand to Rachel's back and held onto Rachel's hand with her other one as she shifted Rachel's head into the crook of her neck. 

"I know the feeling. It's…it's not going away for a while. I wish I could tell you how to get over it, but you can't. What about the drugs, no side effects?" 

"No. No, Nathan fucked that up, even though he knows how much goddamn Vicodin I pop. I couldn't move and could barely think, but I was awake and after a few hours whatever he gave me wore off." 

Chloe knew that Rachel occasionally indulged in harder stuff than weed and ecstasy, but it was hard to mask her surprise when Rachel mentioned the Vicodin.

"Vicodin?" 

"Yeah, Vicodin, Sera. Have to do something to stop the pain, and sometimes smoking doesn't cut it."

It was hard to miss the look of disappointment on Sera's face as Rachel spoke, but she let the matter drop. Chloe could guess why, considering it was like looking at mirror whenever she looked at Rachel. The fact that she didn't know about the Vicodin worried Chloe. She thought she knew everything about Rachel.

"Did this Jefferson give you any indication as to why he kidnapped you?" 

"He just kept saying that I was beautiful and that I should be happy about getting my picture taken by such a talented photographer. I guess it could have been because I'd started talking to him more about what I wanted to do and the people he knew in the modeling world."

James seemed to accept that as he nodded slowly, while Rose looked at her daughter with tears in her eyes.

"Are you okay, honey?" 

Rachel's laugh wasn't the beautiful thing it usually was. It sounded ugly and sharp, bitter and broken all at once as she leaned forward and pressed her hands to her face, before she looked back up at her mom.

"Am I okay? No, I'm fucking horrible, Mom. Just when I thought my life couldn't get more fucked up, a guy I considered a friend drugged me and kidnapped me, before handing me over to my photography teacher who proceeded to photograph me as I cried and couldn't move. It's the crowning moment of awful in my life so far."

Rachel stood then and ran her fingers through her hair, as she walked to the farthest wall and leaned against it, her breathing shallow and rapid. Chloe began to rise, recognizing this as the beginnings of one of Rachel's few and far between moments of losing her self control. Whenever it happened, nothing good came with it, although nothing as bad as the first time Rachel had done it, causing one of the worst wildfires in Oregon history.

"Goddammit, I didn't want to do this today, but for how much I scream and fight with you about lying, Dad, I'm just like you, a lying piece of shit. The real reason Jefferson kidnapped me or had Nathan kidnapped me was because a month ago, he promised to help introduce me to all of his modeling photographer friends and all of their biggest publishers if I gave him something. And you know what he wanted? Me."

Chloe felt that familiar surge of rage rise again, furious at the thought of this Jefferson fucker touching Rachel, hoping that he hadn't touched her when she'd been drugged.

"Rachel if he…if he raped you, you can talk to me. To us. We're he-" 

"Oh no, see he didn't have to rape me, because I'm such a shitty excuse for a human being, and because I was so goddamn enamored with the idea of finally leaving this goddamn town and because I thought he was so awesome and worldly, I fucked him that same damn day. I even thought that it was fun, that this guy had so much to offer. And then, what happens? He kidnaps me. He drugs me and he makes me his model, just like he always promised."

Chloe could barely comprehend the world around her as she heard the words fly from Rachel's mouth, as she practically felt them chill her to her core.  
Rachel had cheated on her.  
Rachel had lied to her.  
Rachel had told her she loved her just the night before.  
Rachel who she trusted more than anyone else, had betrayed her.  
She didn't know what she wanted to do about it, but she did know that she wanted to be far, far away from Rachel.  
As she stood and almost ran to the door, she felt someone grab her wrist.  
Turning around she saw it was Rachel, the tears coming easily now. 

"Chloe-" 

"Get your fucking hands off of me."

"Chloe please-" 

In all her time, Chloe had never raised a finger to Rachel, had never so much as given the idea a thought. But now it was all she could do to stop herself from throwing her to ground, settling on wrenching her arm free and running out the door and down the steps to her truck, before she got in and floored it as soon as the thing turned on.  
And for the first time since she'd had those dreams about her dad, she realized that Rachel was the fire and she'd been blinded by it.  
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the two day extension to my break, and thank you for your patience, to make up for the extension a longer than normal chapter.


	8. Change The Lyrics, Keep The Beat

On the fifth rewind, Max realized there was nothing she could do to stop Rachel. No matter what she said, or what she did, Rachel still revealed that she had slept with Jefferson to Chloe, and Chloe always left.  
So on the sixth rewind she simply sat there, as the person she loved most in the world had her heart ripped apart in front of her. It wasn't the first time she had seen it, or even the first time in this timeline, but it broke Max bit by bit to see Chloe so hurt. She had tried to go after her, but she was never fast enough.  
She was never enough, really, she mused as she tried to cease the headache rewinding had caused her, thankfully ignored by Rachel's family as they yelled amongst themselves. She'd been this far before too. Nothing she could say would help, or be wanted, all she could do was wait until Rachel stormed up to her room.  
Like clockwork, Rachel did, as she tossed back curses at her father, sobbing.  
Somehow the silence that fell in her absence was louder than Rachel's yelling. 

"Max, I know we were just introduced but-" 

"It's alright, Mrs. Amber. I'll talk to her. I don't know how much it'll help though."

"She...she needs someone and we can't be that someone for her."

Max nodded and walked towards and up the stairs, leaving the confines of her rewind, and walked to Rachel's door. It was easy to tell which hers was. The clash of painted flowers and cut lines of poetry with band stickers and Sharpie written witticisms struck her as Rachel more than anything else.  
She thought about knocking, but settled instead for simply walking inside, figuring that she'd be going inside anyway and knocking wasn't likely to get her invited in.

"Go away, Mom."

"Not Mom. Max."

That caused Rachel to sit up and stare at Max, her breath still ragged and her eyes still wet with tears. She was hugging what Max recognized as Mr. Sharkie to her chest, tight as could be. 

"You must hate me right now, not that I'd blame you. You save my life, then I break your best friend's heart and I reveal how shitty of a person I am."

"I don't hate you, Rachel. I think you messed up, big-time. But I don't hate you."

She moved over to the bed and sat down at the edge of it, twisting her hands together like she always did whenever her nerves started to get the better of her. 

"Why? I do. I betrayed the one person who was ever real with me. She was the only one who was brave enough to put herself out there and show the world who she was. I love her, but that sure didn't stop me from climbing on top of Mark. God, maybe it would have been better if you left me down there. If I just died."

Max didn't know what happened to her then, not really. It was like a switch was flipped. Something about how Rachel spoke so, so casually about her death. She didn't remember grabbing Rachel's shoulders or forcing their faces barely a few inches apart. 

"Don't you fucking dare say that. Don't you dare. Do you know how much you matter? To so many people? To Frank? To your parents? To Chloe? Do you have a fucking clue what happens if you die? Everything gets worse for everyone. If you died, and I didn't kill Jefferson, Chloe searches for you for six months, burns so many goddamn bridges and spirals so much. Jefferson does what he did to you to two other girls and kills Chloe, because guess what? She finds your corpse after six months, wrapped in a tarp, buried at American Rust. Frank is barely able to keep himself together and when Chloe finds out that you and him were, God I don't even know, that friendship fucking crashes and burns. Your Dad obsesses over your disappearance so much that he actually almost figures out who took you, and burns himself out, only to find out you'd been dead the entire time. So don't you fucking dare think about dying, Rachel Amber because so help me I will break reality over and over again to save you because you can't die, because without you, Chloe is broken and I can't fix her."

Rachel was scared then, at her intensity, at how tightly Max's fingers dug into her arms, as Max seemed to speaking from experience. About things that hadn't happened, and about stuff that she shouldn't know about. 

"Max. You're hurting me."

Max let go then, and practically jumped off the bed as she realized the magnitude of the bombshell she'd dropped. She almost rewound time then, before the splitting headache came back, with the familiar scent of iron and wetness filling her nostrils. She doubled over in pain then, before finally regaining her balance.  
Rewinding was definitely out of the question.  
Looking back at Rachel, she was studying her with an anxious gaze. It was now or never, Max figured. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I...need to explain something Rachel. And it's going to sound like I'm insane and-and it's going to sound crazy, but please just trust me. Just listen to me. Okay?" 

"Okay." 

This was it, she realized, after this all her cards would be on the table for Rachel to see.

"I can rewind time. And stop it. And go through photographs to that time. Usually only into my own body, but I managed to go through a photo that I wasn't in. That's how I saved you. It didn't just seem like I appeared. I literally popped into existence. That's how I know about stuff I shouldn't. That's how I knew where to find you. Because I'm from six months in the future."

Rachel was quiet for a minute, as she fell back onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. 

"...okay."

"Yo-You believe me?" 

"Yes. I...I've seen some stuff I can't explain. I've done stuff I can't explain. And you…I know you're telling the truth. I just do."

"That's…that's great. So, that's why I know so much. That's why I know you can't die. Because I lived through that reality where you did, and it was horrible. Because I lost Chloe, because she lost you, because I went through what you did, someone I care about went through it to. And in the end, even with this power, I had to choose between her and the Bay and Chloe made me…she made me choose the Bay. I had to let her die. But then I realized that none of it would happen if I saved you. So I did. I broke reality. Because with you, Chloe lives. With you, she doesn't spiral out of control. With you, I don't have to choose. And even if that means that I don't get the Chloe I knew…the Chloe who kissed me and cared about me and trusted me…I want her alive. I want her to be happy."

Max had to fight off the sobs that built inside her as she finally admitted to herself that her Chloe was gone, that she was dead forever. That even though Chloe was still alive in this timeline, she wasn't the same as the one Max had fallen in love with. As she sat down on the bed, and succumbed to the grief that had been building in her for the past two weeks. She'd been so focused on saving Rachel and of trying to figure out how to do it, and stealing one of David's guns, she hadn't let the reality set in.  
No matter what she did, what she changed, nothing would change the fact that that week with Chloe was gone, erased from reality, as it lived only in her mind.  
She felt arms wrapping around her as Rachel pulled her down to lay down, her head resting on Rachel's chest, as Rachel stroked her hair and held onto her.

"You did all of this for Chloe?" 

"And for you. What y-you went through-" 

"We, Max. We went through it."

"-no one should have to go through it. I had to save you. But yeah. I did this for Chloe, because…"

"You love her. You love her so much you'd do anything. Have probably done everything."

Max could only nod weakly, as she silently recounted all she did to save Chloe, that turned out to be for nothing in the end. 

"I fucked everything up, Max. I fucked up so bad."

"You told the truth, Rachel. When…when my Chloe found out about everything that had been going on with you that she didn't know about, it…it broke her Rachel, little by little. She called you her angel, Rachel. She searched for you for six months straight, when even the cops and your parents had given up for the most part. Everywhere you went, your photo was plastered, because she was looking for you. And then…"

"You found me."

"By that point, after finding out everything, she didn't know what to think about you. But when…when we found you, she wanted blood. She wanted to kill Jefferson and Nathan and anyone who got in her way. Even after all of the shit she found out, she still loved you so much, Rachel. You've made mistakes. Big ones. But that doesn't mean she still doesn't love you. Even if she doesn't want to. And you love her, right?"

"More than anything."

"Then give her time. Tell the truth. Make it right. Make her happy."

Rachel was quiet then, as she absorbed what Max had said. For Max, she felt a weight lift from her shoulders, as she'd told one of the two people she knew she would need to tell about her powers, and she'd accepted it.  
She didn't know what Rachel meant about seeing stuff that she couldn't explain, but considering that the entire time Max had been looking for Rachel, a doe that wasn't there had been shadowing her, sleeping over Rachel's grave, guiding her through her nightmare…she couldn't help but feel there was something more to the doe than just a helpful hallucination. 

"Max?" 

"Yeah, Rachel?" 

"I won't think about dying. I promise."

"Thank you."

"Just promise me something?" 

"What?" 

"Stay with me? For right now?" 

"Of course."

As the pair laid together, Max thought of how intertwined both of their lives where with Chloe's, and of how theirs were beginning to intertwine as well. Something about that made Max happy, as even though she had only known Rachel personally for less than a day, she had already become drawn to her.  
And if it meant she could help repair Rachel's relationship with Chloe, and ensure Chloe's happiness…all the better.  
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End file.
